Blessed Widow

“Rest well, my Beloved.  I’ll see you again in God’s land.”

Quoted above is the last line of my final post written on Caring Bridge on June 22, 2010.  It was going to be my last public expression of grief.  HA! HA! HA!  I am SO funny!  I CRACK myself up!  Now I’m thinking I’ll write a book about it and go on tour giving seminars.

Here’s the blessed part.  Here are excerpts from the first part of my final post.

“His body was wearing out.  It couldn’t take him much farther down life’s path.  Strange to be 41 years old and have to process the thoughts generally saved for someone with much more experience in life.  But he rose to the challenge- aided by the strength of God living in him. 

Cancer gave him peace like he’d never had before… When he came to fully realize he didn’t have control of his life, he couldn’t work his way out of his situation- all he could do was have faith in God to care for him, for me, for the kids- he found that faith and trust were enough.  They were all he ever needed.

He did well.  He gave life and us all that he could.  He walked his walk.  His journey is over.  He ended it with his hand in his Savior’s.  That’s all that really matters.”

Jeff will without a doubt be in heaven.  That assurance is a wonderful blessing.

Here’s another blessed part.  I have society’s approval to grieve.  While Jeff had cancer, I had support.  I could ask friends to pray for us.  And they did and told me so.  Church folk brought meals on occasion.  Sometimes people I didn’t even know sent money or gift cards.  Other parents offered to pick our kids up from school.  People were supportive in any way they knew how.  And they continue to be.  It’s OK to be the widow of a cancer patient. 

What about being a widow from suicide?  What about being a widow of an alcoholic?  What about grieving the infidelity of a spouse?  What about being the infidel?  What about that grief?  What about the grief of having a spouse with an addiction problem?  Or a daughter who had an abortion?  Or being the one who had an abortion?  Or being abused at home?  Do we go to church and say, “Hey, could you pray for me?  I’m being beat at home?”  Or how about the virtual widowhood of a workaholic?  Or depression that steals your spouse away?  Or a “ho-hum” marriage that leaves a person feeling very lonely although not alone?  Or the grief of a separation that you dare not share while you try to work it out?  What about that?  Those are things we just don’t talk about.

I am blessed.  And….so are you.  If you have taboo grief and find some expression of your grief in my words, praise God.  If you find comfort for your grief, even more praise.  If you are uplifted, I will be on my knees thanking God.  He is the healer and giver of all good things.  Every good and perfect gift comes from our Father above.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  2 Corinthians 1: 3, 4

“Dear God, You have blessed so mightily in my life through others.  May I now pass it on.”

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  1. Lori Harvey

     /  March 5, 2011

    Thank you, friend.


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