Happy Holidays

Holidays.  They are different after.  They are different now that our family is shorted one member as a result of death.  But what happened with Mother’s Day?  Why should that be different?  I still have my two kids and I still have my mother.  Nothing about the mother status should have changed with me.

Last year I felt bad for my mother-in-law.  Jeff was a very good son.  He was a dedicated son.  He never let a holiday pass without giving special honor to his mother.  The first holiday after his death was Mother’s Day.  And on her special day – the one just for moms – he was not there.  I went to see her.  We hugged and cried.  I know it was hard for her.

Today in church I had an “ah-ha” moment.  I am a mother only because the “two became one”.  I am a mother only because there was another.  My kids are still here.  But the parts that made the whole are partly missing.  This year I’ll still feel bad for my mother-in-law.  But I’m going to let myself feel bad for me, too.  We all lost a piece of who we are.

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