Peru Mission Rules

  • Don’t get too attached to tomorrow’s plans.  They will change.
  • The posted maximum capacity on a bus is twice the number of actual seats.
  • Keep your arms and head inside the bus to avoid amputation or decapitation.
  • You don’t have to walk completely off the road to be safe, just farther off the road than the person beside you.
  • In good parts of town, keep your camera strap around your arm.
  • In bad parts of town, keep your camera strap around your arm and hold your camera close to you.
  • In REALLY bad parts of town, place your camera on a silver platter and hand it to them to avoid injury.
  • There is always a toilet over the water somewhere upstream on the Amazon.
  • “See one – do one – teach one” applies to pulling rotten teeth.
  • Do not restrain a monkey against its wishes.
  • Anacondas sense the fear of the person holding them.
  • Some spiders attack humans.
  • If you are going to the jungle, forget about styling your hair.  It is what it is.
  • In the jungle, drying with a towel after bathing is optional.  You will be equally wet either way.
  • “Ancient ruins” = a bunch of steps and an occasional wheel chair ramp.

    Wheel chair ramp in the ancient ruins. Don't go too's a long ways down.

  • “It will just take 5 minutes.”  Peruvian time.  Don’t take your watch.
  • Pedestrians do not have the right-of-way when crossing the road.
  • If you wait for all the cars to go by, you will never cross the road.
  • The largest vehicle with the boldest driver goes first.
  • Don’t drink the water.
  • If you won’t drink the water, don’t eat the ice either.
  • WHERE did you find ice?!?
  • You never know what is hiding behind a simple-looking closed door.
  • Always be prepared for a step or a hole in the sidewalk – if there is actually a sidewalk.
  • Liquid on the streets or sidewalks is NOT water.  Avoid stepping in it.
  • The number of lanes on a road is inversely proportional to the size of the vehicles on the given road.
  • Don’t bring more luggage than you can carry, push or pull while walking several blocks uphill at 13,000 feet.
  • A “shower” might mean a bucket of cold water, bar of soap and concrete slab.  And you’ll be thankful for it.
  • “Hot” in the jungle cannot be described.  It must be experienced.
  • If you visit Monkey Island, you will be mauled by…. well… I’d hate to spoil that surprise.
  • Made with “Baby Alpaca” usually means “Maybe Alpaca”.

    Vendor in Cuzco, Peru

  • However little you think you have, you will find someone with much less than you wearing a smile.
  • You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you – which is a whole bunch more than you thought you could do.

Any of my readers who would like to add their own mission-field rules are welcome to share them by clicking on the “conversation balloon” at the top of this blog.

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  1. Claudia Parks

     /  July 3, 2011

    You have about covered it. Bless you for putting it so cleverly! Claudia

    • Hope your finger continues to mend. One more week and I’ll be finished with the rabies shots. Memorable enough trip, I’d say. 🙂


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